How to Manage Your Own Borderline Personality Disorder When Dating

BPD and Dating

Borderline personality disorder. You may not even know you have it but if you do, then you know how difficult it can be to form intimate relationships.

However, just know that you are not alone. About 1.6% of the population in the United States suffers from BPD.

If you have this mental health condition, you may be apprehensive about borderline personality disorder dating. You do not have to let your condition get the best of you, as there are ways around it.

What can you do to combat this? This guide will go more in-depth with BPD and how you can date while dealing with this condition.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

A borderline personality disorder is when you have a sudden and quick change of emotions. Usually, this can mean big mood swings. So, you could be the type of person that is very happy one minute but can get very angry the next minute.

These quick changes in emotions can lead you to do irrational and impulsive things. For more serious conditions, it can even make someone feel suicidal.

When it comes to this condition, people that suffer from this may want to or feel the need to have intense emotional relationships with other people. Because of this, they may feel a great fear of abandonment while they are with this other person.

That can be a big turnoff in the dating world because if not expressed properly, this can come off as clingy. However, there are ways to work around this if you know what to look for.

Develop a Hobby

Believe it or not, something that can help your dating life if you suffer from BPD is to take up a hobby. How does this help?

The simple answer is that it is something that you can invest time or energy into that you are passionate about. This can help someone with BPD because if they have a fear of abandonment or find themselves relying on intense emotional relationships, they are going to need a different outlet to put that energy into.

A hobby can be the perfect outlet for this because you can use that intensity to get better at your hobby and it is something that can keep you from suffocating your significant other with intimacy.

This is also something that can help you form new bonds and even make new friends. About 56% of people in this survey said they had multiple hobbies. Another 24% of people said they practice just one hobby.

So, whether you like to play an instrument, do some arts and crafts, play video games, or even play a round of golf, find something that you have a passion for and dedicate some time to that.

Reach Out to Friends and Family

Another thing that you can do to help yourself is to set up a support circle. This can be either your closest friends or family. Whoever it is, make sure that they are people you feel comfortable opening up to that will not judge what you have to say.

Doing this will do two things for you. The biggest thing it will do is make you feel like you have a safe space to vent about your significant other. You can do this in an open environment while having someone hear out your concerns.

The second thing that it can do is it gives you an outlet to talk things out that are going through your head before they reach your significant other. Your support group can help you determine which feelings you are validated for and what other feelings where you may be overreacting to.

In other words, your friends and family can help talk you down if there is suspicion that this is a mood swing or the BPD talking. They can also give you advice on how to communicate any concerns that you have to your significant other.

Communicate With Your Partner

At some point in your relationship, you are going to have to feel comfortable talking about your BPD with your partner. When a relationship reaches a certain stage, there should be a level of trust that you feel with your partner where you can be completely open.

Of course, the timing of this is going to be different for everyone. You will have to do your best to know when you are ready to talk about this with your partner and have enough trust in them.

You can decide how much information you want to reveal and the pacing of when this information gets revealed. It is important to talk to your partner about this at some point because doing so will give them a much better understanding of you.

It can make them more empathetic and patient with certain actions that you do and it can allow them to see some of the quirks that you have. That part of a relationship can help both sides get more intimate and know the other partner inside and out.

Get Involved With Borderline Personality Disorder Dating

These are some of the things that you should keep in mind when it comes to borderline personality disorder dating. You should start by determining if you suffer from BPD if you are not sure.

Once you are sure, then pick up a hobby if you do not have one already. Then, reach out to your closest friends and work up the courage to discuss these issues with your partner.

Are you ready to get back out there? Join our dating site today!


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