7 Things to Remember When You’re Dating Someone With Autism

Dating someone with autism

The thing about autism is that the spectrum is so wide you never truly know what you will get. Luckily for you, there are a few things that you can remember if you have your eye on someone who is on the spectrum.

For some people, autism could mean not being able to make direct eye contact, hating physical affection, needing more time to process information or make decisions.

Autism isn’t even something that you can notice from a person by their physical appearance either.

Keep reading our guide for seven things that you must remember when dating someone with autism.

1. They Can Get Fixated on Things

One common characteristic that many people with autism have is that they can get fixated on certain subjects, things, or even people. These things can completely consume their brains where they feel like they need to learn as much knowledge as possible about the thing they’re fixated on.

Dating someone who can get fixated on something can be very interesting because you can have awesome and in-depth conversations about the subjects and topics that they’re fixated on. They will truly appreciate that you’re interested in the things that they’re currently fixated on.

Don’t let it seem that their fixations bother you because they can’t help it.

2. They Stick to Routines

Another common trait that people with autism have is that they like sticking to their routine. Many people with autism have developed a daily routine that they will follow. It may change based on the day of the week but they will make sure to get each task done.

When dating someone who likes to follow routines make sure that you do your best to help them stick to it. Try to mesh your routine into theirs and help them out!

Sitting down and figuring out the best ways to fit your schedules together and coming up with the perfect routine can help your partner out. Communication is truly key when dating someone with autism.

3. They Enjoy Quiet Time

Depending on the person, people with autism most likely would prefer a chill date at a quiet place. Of course, you can still do all of the standard dates but going out of your way to take your partner on a quiet and calm date will make them appreciate you so much.

Going to a quiet cafe and reading a book together or drinking coffee is a good date idea. You could also just take a walk together through a park and talk a little bit.

Calm and quiet dates are always a great idea because it shows that you don’t need to be constantly entertained by something bold and crazy.

4. Give Them Time to Process

Whether the decision is big or small, the decision-making process can be rather difficult for people with autism. The best way for two people to work this out is to make sure that there is enough time to make a decision.

Obviously, you will want enough time to decide on big things like moving in together or getting married. On the other hand, making small decisions like what to eat for dinner can be quite difficult for people with autism too.

Don’t get frustrated when your partner takes a little bit longer to process some information. Sometimes taking in this information can make them feel overloaded which isn’t fun for anyone.

5. Be Direct With Them

People with autism enjoy making jokes, understand sarcasm, and can even goof around with you but it will take a lot of practice as well as getting to know you more.

The best way to go about joking around with someone you’re first getting to know them is by being direct with them. Let them know when you’re just kidding or joking around after you say something funny.

It is more difficult for them to read your body language than it is for you to read theirs so try to make them feel comfortable when you’re joking or being sarcastic with them.

When it comes to meeting new people everyone is different. People on the spectrum want to figure each person out individually so being direct with them will help them get to know you faster.

6. Ask Them Questions

The best way to get to know your partner and clear up any questions you may have is by asking them directly. Communication is the best way for people to get to know each other.

Being open and direct in a relationship is a great way to start off right from the beginning. Being open is a great way to avoid any misunderstandings that could arise in the future.

In return, let them ask you any questions that they may have. This is a great way to let communication in your relationship flow so you can both feel comfortable with each other right from the start.

7. Surprises Verse Spontaneity

One thing you need to remember is that most people with autism do not like surprises but they’re occasionally okay with spontaneity. As we’ve already mentioned, they take time to process things and decisions so surprising them could be a huge mistake.

The planning process is huge for people with autism which is why complete surprises could really throw them off course.

On the other hand, being spontaneous with your partner is something that they may enjoy. Inviting them to hunt for ghosts one night or try a new food for dinner are great examples of spontaneity.

These are all things that just need a bit of decision making and planning. They can still be turned down but they’re very spontaneous and fun.

Remember This When Dating Someone With Autism

If you’re dating someone with autism, then there is just one thing that you should remember above everything else and this is you need to love them for exactly who they are. You will learn and adapt to their quirks over time and they will do the same for you.

If you’re someone with autism who is looking to date, then create a profile on our site today! You can start having meaningful conversations right away and meet other people who share common interests with you.


  1. colinripp

    April 16, 2020 at 4:17 pm


  2. Joseph Bienskie

    April 17, 2020 at 2:09 am

    Hi how are you? My name is Joe. I would like to get to know you. I somehow could not get my profile set up, my friend will help me when I can get there. I’m looking for a serious monogamous relationship. If you feel comfortable you may text me at 862-290-7002. I know that it is hard to meet doing these times. Joe

  3. joey schoeffler

    May 11, 2020 at 8:35 pm

    just looking for someone nice i would like like me like someone with downs call me at 918.783.5340 if not here leve m a mass

  4. Teresa

    May 22, 2020 at 11:03 pm

    What’s up. Joseph. Are. You. Looking. For. A. Girlfriend

    • Sierra

      May 1, 2021 at 12:12 am

      Hey I would like to talk to you and get to know you more. Maybe can be good friends..

  5. Teresa

    May 22, 2020 at 11:05 pm

    Are. You looking. For. A. Girlfriend. Joseph

  6. Ryan Halleck

    September 6, 2020 at 8:49 pm

    Looking for a nice girl , to be friend with , I’m 26 my birthday is September 23 , I’ll be 27 . My phone (754) 245-1060 cell

  7. Simon

    November 23, 2020 at 3:41 am

    This really helped me understand my girlfriend and our relationship more. Thank you!

  8. Siera

    May 1, 2021 at 12:09 am

    My name is Sierra and I’m just looking for a good friend to talk to about being on the Spectrum.

  9. Michelle

    July 10, 2021 at 12:02 am

    Looking for a nice boyfriend to be friend with , I’m 41
    my birthday November 21 my name is Michelle

  10. Harry

    September 22, 2022 at 5:50 pm

    I just started dating a woman with autism. She’s 30. She wasn’t forthcoming about it and it took me a few weeks to realize what was going on. My biggest fear is that it’s unethical to be with a person so selfless and accommodating for everything. Sounds weird maybe, I genuinely just want to respect her and let her establish boundaries. My family loves her and she’s actually pretty chill compared to past relationships. I appreciated finding this page.

  11. Frank Rubino

    October 11, 2023 at 12:23 am

    Hi my name is Frank I have just found out that I have Autism. For so long knowing that I was different. And so much information about Autism on net. I have just had my 52 Bday on 27TH of September this year. I spend a lot of the time by myself – feel uncomfortable in social situation.
    Looking for female friend. NB I am not very tec savvy! Can contact via message Thanks much appreciated.


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